Things I have said Today

  • Just because you’re naked doesn’t mean you can rub your butt everywhere.
  • Don’t spray my iPad with a water gun.
  • I need to do laundry.
  • I need to do dishes.
  • I know I’m wearing men’s ball shorts. No. I’m not a man now.
  • Did you just use an entire bottle of dish soap to wash your little tikes car?
  • Of coarse you used all the dish soap to wash your little tikes car.
  • Can you stop trying to squirt that bird out of the tree with a water gun please?
  • Please stop touching your butt. That is how we get pink eye.
  • I don’t know if the bird is stupid or brave cause it’s still there.
  • Pink eye is not as fun as it sounds. Trust me.
  • Water balloons won’t burst like magic.
  • Water balloons last forever.
  • Water balloons are not for the faint hearted.
  • Did you wash your hair with dish soap too?
  • I mean it. I’m not a man. Stop calling me daddy.
  • Do something productive. Something not related to sitting in front of a screen.
  • Write. Read. Draw. Paint. Clay. Play dough. Idk. DO SOMETHING.
  • Something that lets me sit here in peace and read my book though.
  • Where is my phone?
  • I need to sweep and mop.
  • I dread and look forward to school going back in session.

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