When you sneak out onto your back porch for some time. Coffee in hand. Bug spray on. Book under one arm. iPad so you can write and text and browse under the other arm.(I promise I’m working on about four blog posts right now and I just haven’t found the time to get them finished this week.) You sit down and for one glorious moment you hear the birds and the crickets and such. A distant lawn mower is purring in the background. My porch fountain is making a lovely gurgling. It’s that in between weather. Not too hot, not too humid, not raining, comfortable. There is about two or three weeks total in an entire year like this in eastern KY. You sigh. You close your eyes in solitude.
Moment of peace is gone.
Five year old can be heard from inside the house saying, “momma. Momma. Momma moooooommmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaa”.
Phone rings and teenager brings it to you to find a telemarketer on the line.
Five year old comes outside, gets naked, sits in bubbling fountain and begins trying to drown one of our cats.
Another cat wants in. And out. And in. And out. And back in.
Husband texts, “did you pay the electric bill? Call them and pay it ASAP”
Something set off the neighbors dog(s) and they instantly go mad.
You begin to wonder why you aren’t sending the five year old to school this year.
You fantasize about hiring an assistant, a housekeeper, a nanny, and a man servant. Preferably one that mows grass.