Once upon a time…
My children were 1&2. I’d had many potty training woes with going number two for Lennon. We’d tried lots of different techniques and he was struggling. One night I had Drew, his little sister, in a bath ring chair sort of thing. They suction to the bottom of the tub and if your kid can sit up it sort of holds that kid upright. You know, in case you have to kids 15 months apart like a suicidal maniac. (I just pointed to myself).
While playing in the tub suddenly Lennon pooped. For those of you that aren’t parents this happens sometimes and there isn’t a lot you can do about it besides take the kids out. Clean everything. Then start over with bath time. Lennon did it for three nights in a row. I decided to scar him permanently and say things like, “This is nasty. You don’t poop on the tub. You only poop on the potty. Nasty. Gross.” On and on.
The next night I tried to get both kids in the bath and he refused. He’d point his tiny fingers at the tub and say, “Nassy….drose….no bath time for me!” I tired to convince him that pooping in the tub was the nasty part and the tub was fine. He wasn’t falling for that. I wiped him down and decided to choose my battles.
Two weeks later he was still refusing and I had to physically force him into the shower. I’d put on a thick swear shirt and pants because his bath time was similar to bathing a fifty pound cat. He’d claw tooth and toenail to get away. Let me state he was a boy. He loved mud and rocks and these thick blue snow shoes. It was the dead of summer and well I got the 90’S. He’d wear shorts and a t-shirt and snow boots that came up to his knees that made his tiny feet sweat and stink like a cross between road kill and wet dog. He had to be bathed. About two months went by with me thinking of creative ways to get him to get clean. Sprinklers. Water balloons. Garden hose. The issue was it was growing colder and my options were getting limited.
One night I had finally convinced Lennon to bathe. Drew was sitting in the suction cup bath chair and I was sitting in the floor next to the tub. I was showing Lennon how the water was so clean and that he should just get in and take a bath. He took his toddler clothes off and just as he was about to step in Drew looked up with her sweet angelic face and said,
“I poop in the water”.
Que. the naked screaming little boy who didn’t stop running until I caught him.
Needless to say it took me even longer to get him back in the tub.