Wonder Woman versus the Instapot 

When people post their daily schedule on Facebook I typically laugh not only is it kinda silly but also because I think, “that’s it? That’s all you did today? And you’re complaining? Or proud? That’s a poor attempt to take on the day!” This isn’t a debate about Facebook posts though. Post whatever. Facebook is a highly adaptable online social experience. If I dislike enough of what you say I’ll hide, block, unfriend, unfollow. Trust me, I’m sure there is no love lost. I don’t post my scedhule because you don’t have the time to even read what my day consists of. 

So right here, right now, I’m going to inform you about my yesterday. Gird your loins. Hang on to your britches. Maybe grab a Kleenex. 

Woke up at six am and used straightening iron on 12 year olds chemically straightened hair for twenty minutes until my arm was numb. (You girls with straight hair, my 12 year old is jealous. I find it annoying that I like her hair curly and I end up straightening her hair because I’m scared she’ll burn the house down with the flat iron). Burn myself three times. Apply lavender oil. 

Woke up thirteen year old son….twice. 

Say, “wash faces, brush teeth, apply oil” a minimum of four times a piece seperately to each kid.

Laundry. Start diffuser. 

Praise God my mom takes the kids to school 

Five year old wakes up and wants a snuggle buddy. Lay in bed and pray for a bit that my kids come home safe from school.  Back to sleep for an hour cuddled next to the little one. I teared up yesterday thinking of her staring school and missing those mornings I can do that. 

Back awake at nine. Laundry. Coffee. 

Began the reclaimantion of my dining room which had fallen victim to my children since September because I had surgery and was unable to tackle it properly. I’m talking major cleanout. A huge bag of garbage was formed and several items tossed out. Chairs on the table to scrub floors on hands and knees. We have exposed brick that gathers dust which needed to be cleaned. Vacumeed it all. Went through the fifty pairs of hand me down shoes and tossed the broken and destroyed beyond repair. Toys everywhere that I corralled into piles. Cat dishes washed and filled and a large cabinet that houses art supplies and school things cleaned. Chairs wiped down. All the while a very active five year old asking to be fed and entertained and begging for ice cream. Telling her ten times to not walk on the wet floor. The phone ringing and at noon a delivery man delivering…..my Christmas gift….AN INSTAPOT. 

I’ve wanted an instapot for over a year. It’s like a fancy pressure cooker. It was on sale for a billion dollars (or so) off and our crock  pot is held together by electrical tape so we got one. I was so excited over that pressure cooker I even read the instructions. I made soup. It was so good. I cleaned it and made cheesecake. It was so good. 

Four coffees in. Three were real and one decaf. Several supplements taken and feeling a ok. 

Laundry x three. Diffusers. Oil applied and diffused. Business questions answered. An online class taken. A Barbie emergency following a plastic lizard invasion.  I teared up because I thought about how happy I’d be once the five year old started school. More laundry. A Doc Mcsruffins examination and brain surgery. Businesss call. 

Looked up recipes for the instapot. Wrapped gifts. Wired a light fixture. Chased a cat outside that I thought was gonna mark his territory inside. Need to call the vet to take care of that problem. 

Took a hot shower with the door locked….it was glorious.  Those ten minutes were amazing. However I discovered that I overdid it and reopened an incision site…nice. 

Wrestled the five year old to sleep. Slipped out of the bedroom. Got messages from my mom asking why I wasn’t on the conference call I needed to be on at nine. Try for twenty min to log in and during that time my husband says, “will you make me some popcorn?” We don’t eat microwave popcorn any more so I actually use butter and corn and make it. So, I’m trying to log into a oil class, making popcorn, messaging my mom, and still tearing up thinking about my smallest one starting school possibly in January. I’m upset that I can’t  log into the class. This class was a good one that I really wanted to listen to.  This is all going on all at the same time. Are you getting a little anxious reading this?  This is a typical day in my life. 

Suddenly smoke is pouring from underneath my brand new magic instapot pressure cooker. 

I had turned on the burner for the popcorn and then sat the pressure cooker on top of the burner. I’d had it less than a day and here it was smoking. Thankfully our fire alarm didn’t go off because the battery died two days prior to this otherwise I’d have to get a five year old to sleep….again. 

I spent ten minutes fumigating the house and and scraping burned plastic off my glasstop stove. 

Then I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for fifteen minutes because it was a much needed cry to have. We really needed a new crocpot and I really wanted to make my own Greek yogurt and make amazing BBQ venison steak in that. We also paid money for it that I should’ve used to buy my son new shoes or something else we needed. Do mothers always feel guilty if they buy something for themselves (sort of themselves….I mean. Everyone benefits from this, but still)?

In the light of today I used lemon oil to soak on the glasstop and scraped the remaining plastic off this morning. I think the instapot will work still….maybe. I really don’t know and I don’t wanna find out right this minute because if know my heart will be broken and not just my bank account. I keep telling myself it could’ve been so much worse. I could’ve walked off and went to the bathroom or something and burned our house down. We are in a drought and this was during a ton of wind before the rain came today so it would’ve likely started a wild fire….again. We could’ve lost our lives. I keep saying to myself “it could’ve happened to anyone, right? I’m not an idiot. It was an honest mistake.” 

On another note, these are my days minus my workouts which at this rate have been pushed to not start until January. Forgive me if you post your list of what you did today on Facebook and I don’t comment how amazing you are and how I can’t believe you survived. 

When I say, “I’m Wonder Woman” it’s because I wonder how I get all the things done that I get done in one day.

 I do however know how to set an instapot on fire and survive. 


One Comment Add yours

  1. Charlene M. says:

    It’ll be ok, Joy. And yes, it could happen to anyone. Remember the tupperware sculpture in Mamaw’s oven???


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