Life is Messy

The other day I forgot my wordpress password and did the whole forgotten password dance we all do. Lets face it, I do that dance very single time I log in anywhere ever and the only reason I let any website stay open on my iPad or computer is so I won’t have to remember that stupid password with 9 letters, three capitals, one punctuation, one emoji, 6 numbers, one eyelash sample, and a blood type.

So I have two emails that funnel into one account. One email was mine as as single mom and the other was mine as a married mom. I simply added my husbands name to the email that was just mine and my kids names. Sometimes out of sheer laziness I leave out my husbands name when I enter an email. There is no other excuse. I just don’t feel like typing five extra letters. So when I tried to log in I couldn’t remember which email I used for the wordpress account and started with the single mom email. I thought it didn’t work because what I saw wasn’t my blog. For whatever reason though I read the piece that opened. I read it in awe. This blogger was awesome. She was amazing. It was like she was me. It was like an out of body experience. This woman had read my exact thoughts and put them out there. I kept reading, hungry for more and shaking my head, YES! FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT! I was amazed! I commented on how alike we were and how awesome she was and how she read my every thought!

That is when I noticed that the blog I had just read was one I began on a whim….about five years ago…and immediately did not make time to write in.

I just read my own blog from five years ago that I didn’t even recognize as my own until I got through it and had commented.

I don’t know whether this, right here, right now, is a testament to how scattered I am or how proud I am that I caught myself in the end. I couldn’t decide whether to be proud that I wrote the piece or shamed that I didn’t keep it up. The piece just so happened to be about the inequalities in men/women in the home. Ultimately I chose to not judge myself and to be proud that I survived that time in my life and that I’m here now.

So here is the cold hard truth:

I work a lot even if I work from home. I have three kids, two in school and one at home still. There are days I’m not sure which name to yell at which kid over which mess. I am the person that will not judge you if I come over and your kid or you are wearing pj’s at 2pm and eating cheerios while watching TV…because life can be hard and I am in no position to judge. I mean, I wrote a blog, forgot about it, read it and didn’t know I had written it and probably did all of that in my pj’s while my kids watched TV….in their pj’s.

Some days it’s all about how we all got out alive and that’s the important part. 




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