I started this tradition of buying my own Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and birthday gifts years ago. Just one gift for myself For each day that I knew would not disappoint. My husband has forgotten 1/3 of my birthdays since we have been together and to be honest he either does amazing with gifts or terrible. I’ll talk more about birthdays later. We don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day because our anniversary is very close to it. Mother’s Day always hits at an odd time. Our middle child’s birthday is soon after and vacation is coming soon and the kids will be out of school which doubles, if not triples, our grocery bill.
Mother’s Day is usually forgotten for us. My kids make a card at church or school and maybe the teacher lets them pick a flower to bring home. That’s about it. But years before my husband was part of my life I was a single mom that bought herself something every year. It didn’t have to be huge but it was something I wanted and did not need. Some years it was a new bathing suit for summer or a new nail polish or both depending on where I was in life. Sometimes it was a piece of jewelry. I would buy it and just never tell anyone. It was my own secret, a high five to myself saying, “you got this mom thing!” I’d look at the piece while I wore it and think, “it’s ok. I’m enough. I’m enough.” Being alone as a parent is hard. Thankfully my parents helped out so much. I’m not even sure where we’d be without them. But that’s another story. Today I began to think about what the perfect Mother’s Day would entail at this stage in life. I work two jobs, I have three kids, 14,12 (almost 13), and five. My husband works full time as well. We have a mortgage and all the other debts, stresses, issues, etc that being this age has. My house is lived in. For this stage in life I’d have to say the list below is pretty perfect and realistic. I left out the part where Misha Collins gives me a new mini van.
- I’d wake up to coffee in bed. It wouldn’t be any old coffee. It would be coffee from our local coffee shop, Summit City, which has recently became my favorite indulgent treat. Magically it would still be piping hot even though we live twenty minutes from town. Cafe mocha with whipped cream. Sigh…….
- I’d have on matching Pjs and not my sons old Star Wars t shirt he grew out of two years ago. My hair would be doing that thing where it’s so curly but not too curly and somehow my skin would be amazing! My skin wouldn’t look at all like I stayed up late watching Netflix while everyone else’s slept because it’s the only time I ever get to be alone and not working.
- Incredibly my bedroom…..no, my entire house is clean. Not just the kind of clean where you gotta pick up fast because someone is coming in thirty seven minutes (and you screamed at the kids, “ALL HANDS ON DECK WE HAVE OUTLANDERS COMING AND WE NEED THE HOUSE TO LOOK LIKE A POTTERY BARN MAGAZINE IN 37 MINUTES!”) but the kind where all the furniture was moved and dusted and wiped down and the baseboards are spotless.
- Someone even dusted behind the fridge!
- All the diffusers are blasting something that smells fantastic and has bergamot in it bc it’s my favorite right this minute.
- I get up after drinking my coffee in bed and the older two kids are both laughing together. They are joking and not being mean to each other at all. They are just talking about normal every day things and happy.
- The little one snuggles me on the couch for a bit. She is warm and cuddly and she tells me I’m her favorite and all the mushy things she normally says to me. She went to bed at a decent hour last night with out making me wrestle her as though she were a sixty pound rabid raccoon.
- My coffee cup never gets empty! It’s just warm and never empty! Ok, this is unrealistic but I’m allowed to dream!
- My husband says, “today, you do nothing stressful at all. We’ll take a walk or a hike and pack a picnic!” Which he plans on his own, packs on his own, and doesn’t once ask me where the backpacks are or his keys or the mayonnaise. He does this while I sit on my back porch drinking the coffee and listening to the sounds of anything except the kids fighting.
- We hike on a glorious day and the kids love it. No one complains about being tired or says they can’t walk anymore. No one pokes sticks into skunks habitats or decides it’s a good idea to “just check and see if the wasps are at home”.
- No one says they hate their sibling and how could I want to make them do this?! There isn’t even wifi here! Or how thirsty they are even though they drank all five waters I brought for everyone and carried in my backpack.
- We come home and my husband cooks for everyone……..and cleans up after…..the whole kitchen…..all of it.
- They take their vitamins and wash their faces without me reminding them.
- All three kids tell me the day was amazing.
- They all go to bed like magic and I’m certainly not still telling them to go to sleep two hours past their bedtimes. I don’t even have to go take phones and tablets.
- When I check the history on my daughters laptop it’s nothing but things about worshiping our Savior and making paper mache art.
- Before bed I eat something decadent and still healthy so I have zero food guilt and I still feel like I cheated.
- I lay down in clean sheets and drift off so peacefully. No cats wake me to go out at two am or if they do my husband takes them out.
I couldn’t decide if my perfect Mother’s Day list was sad or awesome. You decide.